The five most humiliating sexual experiences in my life

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The five most humiliating sexual experiences in my life
"I am a magnet for embarrassment."

I am a magnet for embarrassing situations. Especially as far as sex is concerned. My sex life has never been particularly lavish, but I can not complain either. My friends always tell me that I have fucked a lot for how ugly I am. Let's say I sell myself well. Or let's say I have a rather low threshold of demand. In any case, I have fucked enough to have a good sample of anecdotes about it. And whenever I review them, I realize that the vast majority of them have the same common denominator: my propensity to put myself in, especially embarrassing situations. Here are five examples of this.

1) The time I was wrong about an organ.

It was on a date with a girl with whom I talked through a screen, something that was good for me because verbal communication is not my forte. With a keyboard and a bottle of wine, I can pass by troubadour. But face to face, the words often mock my tongue. In those, we had something in a bar. To the fourth glass, the conversation begins to decrease of volume and to raise of tone. Suddenly his mouth comes close to my ear and whispers to me something he wants to do with his tongue. Astonished, I try to follow the game of whispers, but between tart Amedeo nervous and my neurons beads just right to babble an unfortunate "I want your cock in my pussy." He took it humorously, but there the games ended.

2) The time I kicked my nose.

It was a girl who had very intense orgasms. So much so that when he reached the climax, his legs trembled uncontrollably for a couple of minutes. I liked to see that I could provoke that kind of reaction, of course. But pride turned against me. One night I was between his legs when he told me he was about to cum. Then I stepped back a few inches to watch the show with the satisfaction of the job well done. But fate wanted one of the furious thrusts of his left leg to become a direct kick to my nose. There was blood. There was a pain. There was an emergency visit. There was a broken nose. There was a black eye.

3) The time I ejaculated in one eye.

It was a girl who ended up being my girlfriend for two years. But that was one of the first times we did it. We had left the night before, we had gotten drunk, and I had to sleep at home. The night before we were too tired, so we got up wanting to make up for lost time. His room had no shutters, and it was the first time we'd fucked without being completely dark. I was exultant, of course. We did not have a condom, so I had to promise I'd be on time. It was an epic powder. The alcohol that still flowed through my veins made me endure more than usual, setting the stage for a massive storm. We were fucking in the puppy's position when I noticed I was about to run. And at that moment I wanted to do too many things at once: Hold on to the last breath and watch my explosion firsthand. Result: I took it right when I was already running and looked too small, ejaculating directly into my right eye. Itching. A lot of itching. And she was telling me not to cry. And I was crying. But not because of the itching, but because of the gaffe that had been.

4) The time I fell out of bed.

I suffer from dizziness. This means that any activity that involves movement can make me feel very dizzy. Including sex, of course. A few years ago, doing it with my girlfriend (the same as the previous point), I started to feel that the room was spinning around me. I told her that I thought I had to stop, but she insisted that I continue, that I was "ready." In my eagerness to prove my virility, I tried to keep satisfying her until suddenly, everything turned, causing me to fall violently on one side of the bed. The noise and scream of my girlfriend alarmed his roommate, who opened the door to find me naked on the floor, with his head on the floor and his ass directly pointing to the door. And if that was not enough,

5) The time I vomited over.

Well, if only it had been vomit, yet. This happened when I was still in high school. Specifically in the first year of high school. But the wounds have not yet healed at all. It was Friday, and I went out with my group of friends. We had started with porous and a shawl per head. We had a pork kebab and then we met the group of friends on my roll. We continued to drink and smoke until we went to her house. We started to roll up and undress when, suddenly, something clicked on my body. 

Suddenly, I was suddenly overwhelmed with nausea and the urgency to evacuate. Double entry. I ran to the sink, swinging my erect penis and covering my mouth to hold the vomit. I sat down in the sink, and while diarrhea exploded on the marble, I vomited violently in the bidet. Also, I feel like pissing (damn beer), but my erection forces me to get up. As any man will know, it is impossible to control the direction of the pee in that state, so I started to put everything lost. 

Then my girlfriend enters, mottled by the interruption, and she watches me with her face covered with vomit, surrounded by an infernal smell, pissing in all directions and unable to contain the fart while I babble "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." I said: I still have not recovered. Surrounded by an infernal smell, pissing in all directions and unable to contain the fart while I babble "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" non-stop. I said: I still have not recovered. Surrounded by an infernal smell, pissing in all directions and unable to contain the fart while I babble "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" non-stop. I said: I still have not recovered.
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